Now we are traveling HOME from Jæren, but on Saturday we were on the road HOME TO Jæren. Where exactly is Home?
I have many places that are "Home." First and foremost, where I now live, a home my husband and I have built together ourselves - from the first housedrawings to logging in the forests, excavation of land, construction of housing and furnishing. There I have my family, and many good memories in every corner of the house. It is my home. Home number one!
But there is also a "Coming home" when I`m traveling to Jæren - the place where I grew up. Home to mom and dad. Home and get pampered. Home and be "child" in the house again.
When we have been on holiday abroad, we shall "Home to Norway!" When we can look into the fjord, islands and mountains from the airplane window - then we are back home. Although we enjoy ourselves on vacation, and we are delighted to see new and beautiful places - it`s still nowhere that rivals with "home!"
Now I have been away from home for three days. Although a lot has happened these days - that I have not got time to long for my husband, I know, however, that it will be good to come home again to him. Get able to add my arms around his neck, and know that this is where I belong. He and I. The two of us together. Wherever we are, I have a sense of "being at home" when we have each other. It's good to have one that's my, to belong together with.
The last home is that I have in heaven. Home with Jesus. Grandmother was always singing about heaven, and spoked often about how well we would get it when we got there. She's probably helped to create heaven longing in me. The dream and the hope of the good that awaits me. Death is not an enemy, but a friend who will lead me home. But still ... ..
One of my uncles died shortly after Christmas last year. He had had cancer for a long time. He was ready. Ready to die, - ready to go HOME. He was peaceful all the time, until he died. Although it was a sad farewell for the family, who wanted to have him longer among them, there was also a goodbye with hope. A farewell that left a longing and an empty space, but not bottomless despair.
Another elderly woman in our family, has also battled with cancer for years. Now she has received her final cure, and the doctors say that there is no more they could do for her. She has already survived more than four years on "overtime." We can see that the death soon will obtain her, even though we do not quite know when. But she is not ready. She has so much she wants to live for: a grandson who soon will be married, a single son who needs her, a retarded foster daughter she still provides daily care. She desperately wants to live. She prays, and we pray both for and with her - to be healed. That God would give her a little more time.
I do understand her. Yet, - I feel a sort of pain over that she is unable to reconcile hereself with the fact that she should take the last part of the "journey home" now. It will be more painful, both for her and for her family when her last breath will be taken.
I also want to live. Life has so much to give me - and I still have so much to live for. I'm young, and there is not any indication that I do not have many years ahead of me yet. I am happy to have my home, my life with my husband and my children, that I can both work and rest. Every day I see as a gift. A gift I accept with gratitude. But I am also grateful that death does not scare me. Maybe it's just easy for me to say now, when death does not feels near me. What if I became seriously ill? Will I feel it the same way, or will death be something scary then? I do not know. What future will bring is in Jesu hands. I live today, and today I am happy and thankful for the day I've got, and that I can live without fear of death. Today I can say with Paul: